


The Great Date Debate

by rin0rourke



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Awkward Dates, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 06:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13584408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rin0rourke/pseuds/rin0rourke
Summary: Rumor has it everyone's favorite Pooka has finally found a match, in the detestable Jack Frost. No one is so suicidal as to argue with a Guardian's choice, but that doesn't stop them from meddling. Bunnymund's happiness should not be risked, especially not because the unworthy suitor hasn't a romantic bone in his body.Jack suddenly find himself with an army of relationship advisers, none of whom like him overmuch, and all of whom have this bizarre idea that he's courting the Easter Bunny.





	The Great Date Debate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Batmanfan11](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batmanfan11/gifts).



“Itsa date then.” **  
**

Jack had been perfectly fine before those words, quipped with a smirk before Bunny double tapped the ground and disappeared.

Going to the Christmas Party together had sounded like a good idea, it was Jack’s first real holiday event, that he wasn’t crashing uninvited and expecting to be jettisoned as soon as he completed whatever mischief he had planned, and Bunny had admitted to not usually attending. Hell, if Jack had known it was optional he wouldn’t have accepted.

Except he would have, because he never gets invited to these things, and the other Guardians had agreed to go, which was apparently also very rare, just so they could introduce him. So guilt, and pride, and okay a little need to rub his new friendship in the faces of a few of the other attendees. Leapfrogging over all the big shots into Guardianship from his former position of salty gutter slush after the street was plowed probably irritated a number of them, he wanted to see their reactions. He just also didn’t want to see them, because people were awesome but also not awesome, in large numbers at least, and he still had problems with expecting attacks in large groups.

Showing up together with Bunnymund would hopefully help. It would at least limit the amount of harassment they would both get, for the exact opposite reasons. It had sounded like a sound plan.

Until Bunny had said “Date”, in the middle of the workshop at the Pole, where tiny pointy ears could hear and misunderstand.

~*~*~

“Oookaay…”

There were flowers on his lake.

It wouldn’t be the first time some sappy couple had decided to have a tryst on the lovely expanse of ice under the moon, and he had walked home to find more than enough romantic midnight ice skaters in his few centuries not to be surprised.

The problem was the source of the flowers.

“You will need to be romantic.” The man instructed him as way of hello while he directed the birds decorating the trees in a manner disturbingly similar to Tooth. “Bunnymund is a romantic at heart, with few occasions to express it.”

“Have we… met before?” Jack asked, hopefully politely.

Valentine, Jack assumed it was Valentine by the hearts and flowers and birds, was as reedy and old as Ombric had been when Jack met him, and not at all what Jack would associate with the patron saint of love. He also seemed… bored, and a little unimpressed, which was off putting since he was the one dressing Jack’s lake up like a middle school dance.

“Me, personally? No, but you have met one of the others. A little higher dear, no not the peach roses, the pale pink.”

“Others?”

“There are eleven of us in total, you have met Thea and the Valentine of Genoa.”

Jack rubbed his eyes carefully. “Oka~y, and is there a reason you’re… decorating?”

“I thought it might help you visualize. Darling, the garland is lopsided. Yes, thank you.” The creamy brown and gray doves cooed obediently back at their master. “Now, as I was saying, Bunnymund is a true romantic, under his bluster and in spite of his conservative military upbringing.” Valentine motioned for Jack to take a seat in the delicate looking chair beside the tea table and busied himself with pouring them both a cup. “Obviously he can provide any flowers you could possibly think to bring him, though it wouldn’t hurt to do so anyway, but something thoughtful and sentimental would just make his day.”

“As much as I appreciate it,” Jack perched on the three legged lacy seat with more care than he had balanced on power lines, “but why would I give Bunny flowers?”

“Its customary, every first date should begin with flowers.” He looked at Jack over the rim of his teacup, and his tone edged from disinterest towards that frigid line of scorn. “You have been on a date before, have you not?”

“No.” Jack lounged back a little more freely in his chair, abandoning all attempts at manners as easily as Valentine had abandoned his. “As a matter of fact, I haven’t.” He froze the tea in his own cup and tipped it on its side with a finger, spinning it like a dreidel. “And that still doesn’t answer my question, so I’ll simplify it. Are you trying to set me up with Bunny?”

Valentine drew air roughly in through his nose, as close to a haughty sniff as Jack had seen outside of fiction, and set his cup onto the saucer with a clack. What drama.

“No.” He said primly, “I am not. There is no one I would find more ill suited to him, he deserves so much more, but that is not my decision to make.” All pretense of advice now abandoned Valentine looked even more unimpressed with Jack, and amazingly more fake. “Bunnymund has, for reasons far beyond my comprehension, chosen to pursue you and I as a Valentine cannot sit back as the others have decided and simply let you ruin his chance at happiness.”

“Who said Bunny was interested in me?” Jack ignored the jab in favor of information, though it got his back up.

“The Yeti gossiped amongst themselves as they harvested the mistletoe, Caer overheard them and spoke with Aengus who spoke with the songbirds who brought it to our attention. Obviously we were delighted to know our beloved Bunnymund had chosen to court after all these centuries. We were less than enthused of his choice.”

“Obviously.” Jack growled. Yeti, now why would they start something like this?

“However, regardless of my personal.. standards… I cannot place Bunnymund’s happiness at risk. This date is the first we have seen him agree to in millennia, and the only he has initiated. It WILL be executed without flaw and you WILL perform your role without any of the rampant chaos you so adore.”

“Will I?” Jack crossed his legs and leaned back, balancing on a single leg of his chair. “Which Valentine are you again?”

The grin that split his wrinkled face did not promise romance. “Not the one you’re thinking of.”

“Right.” Jack set his seat down with a hard clack and  braced his hands against the table. “No offense but your info is WA~Y wrong, and even if it wasn’t this is feeling a little shovel-talky for me.”

“Another custom.”

“Not one I agree with. Always felt it was insulting, to all parties, and you? Not even a wallflower. So thanks, but I think I can handle myself just fine. Don’t let the icicles hit you on your way back to wherever it is you store your garbage.” He rose and stormed away.

“If you think-!” Valentine shoved himself to a stand and made to follow only to find himself suddenly and embarrassingly frozen to his own seat, face down on the ice.

“And clear your trash off my lake!” Jack shouted back on the wind, “It’s not Valentines Day, its Christmas!”

~*~*~

The entire conversation had him in a disaster of a mood, he flew straight to the Pole intent on getting some answers, and fumed at the .. the.. He didn’t even have a WORD for it.

He and Bunny were closer, he was a Guardian now, and they were spending more time, and yes Jack did have a little crush, which Bunny knew about, and they joked about between them. It wasn’t a THING.

But a date? The only thing close to that was the party, and that wasn’t a date.

Except Bunny had, in fact called it that. In a way.

Shoot. Was it a date? Okay, Jack new it was an expression, everyone knew it was an expression, but everyone also knew you didn’t USE that expression unless you wanted to fluster someone and make them think it was a date. It was, like, a rule, wasn’t it? Because everyone, EVERYONE Jack had ever seen in movies or books or tv who heard that phrase freaked out and made it into a big deal, and maybe it wasn’t a big deal but it had been a date. So was it a date? Was Jack supposed to act like it was a date? Was he supposed to freak out like on TV?

He wasn’t going to freak out, if that was what Bunny planned, and by his stupid smirk and his general attitude it was absolutely what he had planned he just KNEW Jack was going to get flustered if he said it which of course was why he said it, which meant Jack should absolutely NOT be freaking out. If Bunnymund thought he could ruffle Jack’s feathers he was in for a surprise. Jack was not only not freaking out, he wasn’t even going to act like he heard it, he was going to show up at the christmas party like he didn’t even consider it a date, just two friends tag teaming the crowds like the anxious shut ins that they were, not a date at all. He wasn’t freaking out.

It wasn’t a date.

“Is it a date?” He asked North, two minutes later as he slid on the smooth wood floors into Santa’s private workshop.A detour from the Yeti lounge he had aimed for, but this was more important than finding out who couldn’t keep their stupid mustache shut. North barely managed to not fumble the ballerina jewelry box he was carving.

“What?”

“Bunny said, ‘It’s a Date’, but is it?” Jack asked, because no one knew Bunnymund better than North, they’d been taking jabs at each other longer than Jack had been alive.

“Bunny asked you on a.. Date?” North carefully set his project aside and looked rather surprised and pleased but also very suspect, not quite believing. If the question were a Guardian he would walk right through it. Which… was kind of what they all did in regards to Jack’s crush. Except when Bunny cracked wise.

“For the party, at the Lunar Lamadary? Bunny said we should go, together, me and him, together, as a pair.” Jack paced the room, considering. “‘Meet me in the warren’ together, ‘stick by each other through the whole mess’ together, ‘it’s a date’ together.” he spun and pinned a bemused North with a wide panicked stare. “‘It’s a date’, he said ‘it’s a date’ and then disappeared in his stupid hole like that’s not going to drive me crazy. Is it a date? It’s Bunny, he knows I’ll get worked up, he’s going to be laughing his furry little tail off thinking about me panicking because he said that, and I’m going to show up a nervous wreck and he’s going to be a super casual dick about it!”

North just blinked, that same small stupid smile on his face, like Jack was one of his elves doing something amusing and not quite sane. “Ah, so don’t? If it was a joke, let him joke? Don’t let it.. What. ‘drive you crazy’?”

“Oh sure, that’s the obvious answer,” Jack swung back to pacing, twirling his staff in a worrying arc, North had to duck. “But what if he meant it? What if I’m the one who shows up like a smug bastard, suddenly I’m the super casual dick! What,” He spun back to North, jerking his free hand out in a claw like he could rip the conversation from his own mouth and present it in some way that didn’t sound absolutely batshit, “What if it really is a date?!”

“Jack.”

But Jack wasn’t listening, he was back to pacing, the floor accumulating an alarming coating of ice in his wake. “I know, I know it’s just a casual party, that you guys don’t normally go and you really just make your five minute appearance every year to showboat while you do your breaking and entering routine.” North made an insulted sound that Jack ignored, “And I know you’re all coming for a bit because of me, for support and also because its been like a century since you’ve shown your face outside of your jobs, you obsessive workaholics every one of you. I get it, it’s just a stupid holiday party at  an ancient moon temple inviting all the super important people in the spirit world to keep them from being asshats the rest of the year for being left out, and I get that I have to be nice and behave, even though most of them treat me like the ice on their windshield at best, but HE said DATE, he said it North. Not me. I was perfectly fine being just two guys hanging out and making an annoying event slightly more bearable, but he said the D word and now I don’t know if he was joking or not. I have never been on a date, I’ve never been on anything even close to a date! Visiting you all is as close to a friendly outing as I get! What am I even supposed to do?”

North pursed his lips beneath his mustache and raised his big bushy brows at Jack’s antics, watching the boy as he worked himself up into a snow flurry. “Have you considered… asking him?” he hazard, fully expecting the rant that followed.

“Oh, yes, because opening myself up to THAT absolutely wouldn’t give him ammo for the next millennium.”

“Hah, I wouldn’t say… perhaps a decade.” North put his hand on Jack’s shoulder and steered him towards the window seat he so favored, when he wasn’t pacing six inches of ice onto the wood floor, “Bunny is not one to play with a person’s feelings Jack. If it upsets you so, ask him.”

North was right, or course he was right. Jack new it was stupid, freaking out, but he didn’t WANT to ask, he wanted to KNOW. Jack tugged his hood up, and turned away, studiously ignoring the little amused huff at his dramatics. “Easy for you to say. You didn’t have to freeze a stupid smug spirit of love and romance’s butt to his seat because he wouldn’t stop going on about how unworthy I am.”

“Jack.” North sat beside him and gave him that searching look that involved much shadowing of the eyes from furrowed crazy old man eyebrows. “When did this happen?”

“About an hour ago.”Jack grit, “Valentine, I don’t know which one but not the girl and not the fat one, he was going on about how he heard from a bird who heard from a guy who heard from another guy who heard it from the yeti that Bunnymund asked me out.”

North sighed. “Well.” was all he could say for a moment, “That would certainly put everyone into a frenzy.”

Jack glared at him from under his hood, because of course SANTA would know if people were going nuts. “Is it that big of a deal.”

“Da, is very big deal. Bunny is.. He is a god among gods, they worship him. If he has decided to… date after all this time, they will be very much involved.”

Jack blew a big gusty breath. “Couldn’t just crush on a nice tribal ancestor, could I?”

North laughed, tugging at Jack’s hood playfully. “You sow chaos in all you do my friend, you would find such a match boring.” he sobered then, and smoothed his mustache as he thought. “I will speak with Valentines, and Eros, ensure they stay out of it, and keep their associates as contained as possible. But if rumors are sailing they will not be easily sunk.”

“Great. Just great.”

“Just keep low profile until party my friend.” North pat his shoulder and stood, “I will get to bottom of Yeti gossip, and as for your date, if Bunny If he is being a.. Dick,” and Jack’s mouth twitched a bit, “I’ll sic Toothy on him.”

“So… don’t worry about it?”

“Jack, I can do many many AMAZIng feats,” North declared and Jack laughed, “but getting you to not worry is not one of them.” he opened the window and shooed Jack away. “Talk to him when you can, if you feel you can. If other spirits bother you, we will kick their butt.”

~*~*~

Mood lifted Jack went about his seasonal duties, enjoying the strain of storm after storm. Of course it couldn’t last, though the snow and wind kept most gossip mongers away he was stopped here and there, flagged down by some spirit or other to ask about his supposed courtship, and it was irritating having to explain over and over how no he and Bunny were not dating, yes they were going to the party together, but only as fellow Guardians, no he did not need advice.

He could tell most of them didn’t buy his explanation of where the date rumor had come from, but they had let it drop. Still, there were always the ones that pushed, or offered advice, or threats. Like the naked woman in Yosemite, with the wolves, who had threatened to skin him and wear his hide as a cloak if he hurt Bunny.

It got to the point that he started traveling alongside Sandy.

Hiding in a cloud of dreamsand may not have been the most noble or sophisticated way of dodging Bunny’s fanclub, but he had done more demeaning things than hang out with a good friend for a few days to avoid pursuit.

Sandy also seemed up to speed on the rumor mill, and had his own piece to say, though thankfully it was not a well illustrated series of dating advice.

“You think I should talk to him too?”

Sandy nodded encouragingly.

“I don’t see how that’s going to solve my immediate problem, unless he goes out and picks up another date, sic them all on someone else. They don’t seem to believe the ‘we’re just friends’ line I’ve been forced to memorize this past week.”

Sandy raised his eyebrows and gave him such a look that required no game of sand charades to understand.

“Point, but thats my thing. Bunny isn’t weirded out by it, and I count that as a win, but I’m not hanging around him pinning and planning for the day he realizes he’s in love. I have feelings, their mine, I deal with them. It doesn’t mean we aren’t still just friends.”

Sandy made a vague gesture that Jack didn’t recognize, but he assumed was a snide comment of some sort.

“I wouldn’t even mind the thought of us actually dating if it didn’t come with so much drama. I mean, I love drama don’t get me wrong, but there is a point where even I think its too much. And the Groundhog popping up out of the ground like a whack-a-mole telling me not to be late because, and I quote, “no one likes a prolonged Winter”, that, THAT is my limit.”

Sandy shrugged, and repeated his advice. Go talk to Bunny. Then he pointed down at the shores of Australia, where they had drifted as Sandy had gifted his dreams.

“You just want more gossip material.” Jack pouted, thoroughly betrayed. They had still be in the Philippines when this conversation began. “I should have hid with Tooth.”

Sandy just gave Jack a helpful shove off his cloud and waved goodnight, aiming for the city lights and the sleeping children who awaited him.

Jack considered following, just to be contrary, or better yet turning around and aiming for Tooth’s. But the thought of going anywhere when there was an unknown number of people wanting to, he shuddered, educate him made him anxious.

The whole date debacle had started because he needed a buffer from the crowds.

The night was warmer than Jack liked, his internal clock clearly said Winter, still he wished it had taken him longer to reach the entrance Bunny had shown him, give him more thinking time, but here he was. He had kind of expected it to be out in the desert, all the documentaries made Australia seem like nothing but cities and desert and rivers with obscenely large lizards, but Bunny’s front door was in an apple grove. Well it did make some sense, he couldn’t have made all those chocolates with fruit filling without fruit, and fruit didn’t grow in eternal springs. All the trees he had seen in the warren were flowering.

He took a deep breath, gave another little thought of escaping to India and hiding in the Tooth Palace for the rest of the century, then wrapped his fist against the bunny totem.

The sound of grinding stone set his teeth on edge as the plain cylinder with ears turned to face him, it’s expressionless carvings seeming to size him up before rising itself out of the dirt and revealing the hole in the ground.

It was a little more inviting than a certain tunnel under a rotten bed, but not by much. He forced a grin and gave the statue a mock salute, then jumped down.

The mossy slide lasted barely a second, like a slide at a playground, then he was in the warren proper.

It was different than the continental tunnels and googie fields Jack had explored last Easter, denser, with more leisure and comfort in the design than production, but it was still obviously planned, and still patrolled by giant egg shaped boulders with faces.

“Jack!” Bunny called, and raced over from where he had been crouched among what looked like new planting. “What ye doing here, the party isn’t for three more days.” then his face scrunched, and clear panic set in. “Right?”

Jack felt immediately better, which was ridiculous, seeing Bunny jettison himself into an anxious mess should not have felt so comforting. He couldn’t help it, just by being there, being his cranky twitchy self, Bunny always felt right. “Yeah, I’m early, but I… I have something I want to talk with you about.”

Deep breath. Even if Bunny couldn’t solve the problem, at least they’d be suffering it together.

And that, well that made it bearable.

**Author's Note:**

> Secret Santa gift for gottagosin on Tumblr, I hope I got their ao3 right.


End file.
